"Up Ahead" (Ryn #1) From "The Muse Tree (Demos)" Julean and the Rai (as Julian Rai) Copyright 2003 Julian D. Rai (BMI) VERSE I Woke at 5 am, now it's 6 in the morning Huddled like 7 heads hanging, walking Hawaii was calling out to Ryn -- Who was the master of the task at hand, The moving hand; the Sleight-of-hand that was the Time. VERSE II So we took those moments, that were Creased, and were folded, held them in Palms that were sweating; and forgetting. His lover Josie'd run away. She turned 16 that day ... and I promised Ryn that I'd look after her. But I couldn't find her sometime afterward. PRE-CHORUS ! And with that amulet I gave you I didn't expect that it would save you, man No; it was just made of the stuff that made you, Ryn. VERSE III Light had a tendency to curve in this town. And it'd wrapped the dawn around us, halfway down... I turned to look at you as you watched the ground ... Your eyes goodbye-ing to the pavement. VERSE IV To most of us you were the "Independent One". First one to leave the classroom; first one to strike out on your own. And now you're the first of us to travel on... But I could tell that you were unfamiliar With permanently stepping out of childhoood. PRE-CHORUS II And on that paper that I gave you About the changes that surround you, man ... I swear I wouldn't ever wish that upon you -- CHORUS And Up Ahead There's a bus waiting to take you Home. And so the six of us walked back Alone. Just as the tendrils of the dawn Shone on us all ... We watched the patterns of our Lives Fall down. And with this feeling that the Change Has gotta' come ... The Walk Back was not an Easy One. BRIDGE Hey; we were all handshakes and machismo Me ripping pages from my notebook The necklace I'd worn since I met you I felt driven to present you And once the bus was in the distance No one here has seen you since Most of us, no longer friends We knew we might be seperated What we were all thinking, no one said it But suddenly our lives were 'complicated'. VERSE V We herded back past where the city lie Past all the gravel trucks and traffic lights Past all the busy, bustling passers-by No one seemed to notice you were missing. VERSE VI Soon, thereafter we all parted ways And in walked the Summer, where the Troubles came But I walked stubbornly on, anyway Just so long as I was moving PRE-CHORUS III Seems like everyone in Dayton There's built on Apit and Hesitation But we were the Kids of the Creation. Lyrics and music copyright 1995, 1996, 2003 Julian D. Rai (BMI), All Rights Reserved. Recorded and mastered by Julian Rai. Additional performances by Michael Solomon (Djembe).

Living the Dream #1 From "The Muse Tree (Demos)" Julean and the Rai (as Julian Rai) Copyright 2003 Julian D. Rai (BMI) VERSE I See I was stranded in Cincinatti On the edge of a city grove And I guess that's where it happened When I suddenly decided to go ... I was watching all the cars pass in all the choas And folks I've never seen before Pathos, storylines and drama Bars, coffeehouses and stores CHORUS I And I said it's Too bad I'm stuck in Ohio Or I'd be living the dream Never take a chance with my safety And ruin everything Besides, I would probably die Of thirst, or hunger, or snow Unless I had a grand or two Before I go Anyway What would I do with my stuff? All of my writings and memories? But if all I could do was survive here What kind of a life would that be? So really, I'm dead either way -- Whether I stay, or leave VERSE II So I got to telling all my friends Had to let 'em know I wouldn't be here long By a couple of days, they sat me down Half laughing, half concerned Funny thing I couldn't tell If they were talking about them, or me And I said it's too bad because I was gonna' seek some company. CHORUS II And I said: "Jules, Too bad you're stuck in Ohio Or you'd be living the dream Never take a chance with your safety And ruin everything Besides, you would probably die Of thirst, or hunger, or snow Wouldn't you need a grand or two Before you go Anyway What would you do with your stuff? Your dishes, candles, VCR and TV...? But if all we cand do is survive here What kind of a life would that be? So really, we're dead either way -- Whether we stay, or leave BRIDGE As the month goes on I find that I regress Back to the world of jobs And safety nets I keep pushing forward the date But I 'aint leavin' yet Started playing in bars And smoking cigarettes I figured that I would let myself Do what I needed to This was my birth town It's gonna' be a tough move And when I'm ready I'll just slide out, like a silhouette Perhaps on a greyhound -- I don't really know It'll be alright But I 'ain't leavin' yet ... CHORUS III And I said its Too bad I'm leavin' Ohio Too bad I'm living the dream I'm leaving the safety Of these familiar things Too bad I'll probably die Of thirst, or hunger, or snow Too bad I'm a little broke -- I'm still gonna' go Too bad about that little "fire" That took out all of my belongings and things But if you're thinkin' of leavin' Just go with your pack and your breathin' And maybe then, your guitar You just go as you are. OUT I'm gonna' take a boat To Liverpool Then take on most of Europe 'Cause I know my place is over there But I've never quite been over there But I saw it once in a photograph And I got this feeling in my chest You said "You don't know, Don't make me laugh." So I got my bookbag and I left And I think I can do this as I am No need to save up all this cash 'Cause I trust the seeds of confidence Don't believe in coincidence You can't always explain what you know Or how you know what you know you know But you've got this feelin', gotta' go 'Cause this place no longer Feels like home. Lyrics and music copyright 1995, 1996, 2003 Julian D. Rai (BMI), All Rights Reserved.

The Exchange #1 From "The Muse Tree (Demos)" Julean and the Rai (as Julian Rai) Copyright 2003 Julian D. Rai (BMI) VERSE I Could we retain The student we exchanged? And you can keep the one from our school -- Please let me explain She followed me She came down to my show Dark haired, and stared me down She talked first, just so you know. VERSE II And then later on At the sleepover and such With just one little touch (We really didn't sleep that much) And then it all came down The kissing on the lips All hands and pockets and hips But there's one more thing we missed VERSE II So I beg you please Please please please Don't send her home I mean it seems a little wrong Not to be when nature calls You're a good man, I can tell Hey -- that's a nice suit You know, I think it really looks good on you I was told you were the man to talk to. PRECHORUS I don't like to sound Like the boy who falls But I stumble down the stairs Every time she calls There's a feeling in my chest Like a lizard, who crawls I can't eat, can't sleep Can't think at all Gonna' meet her downtown At the coffeehouse Stay still for a minute Then we'll both sneak out Hide out in the deepest, dark corners Of our town (Did you do it? Did you do it) No I didn't but I tried... Honestly, I was the one Who was taken out I didn't know what this whole Girl thing was about Which is why I'm sitting here In your office, now I'm still a little freaked out But I gotta' find out, so CHORUS Please Please could we retain The student we exchanged? And you can keep the one from our school ... ... we didn't like her, anyway. BRIDGE I can't picture her just leavin'; And me afterward, just breathin' in The scent of her, just lingerin' Well I just can't standing for the shoe to fall You'd better give me something, or it's nothing at all! PRECHORUS I don't like to sound Like the boy who falls But I stumble down the stairs Every time she calls There's a feeling in my chest Like a lizard, who crawls I can't eat, can't sleep Can't think at all Gonna' meet her downtown At the coffeehouse Stay still for a minute Then we'll both sneak out Hide out in the deepest, dark corners Of our town (Did you do it? Did you do it) No I didn't but I tried... Honestly, I was the one Who was taken out I didn't know what this whole Girl thing was about Which is why I'm sitting here In your office, now I'm still a little freaked out But I gotta' find out, so CHORUS Please Please could we retain The student we exchanged? And you can keep the one from our school ... ... nobody liked her much, anyway. Could we retain The student we exchanged? And you can keep the one from our school... We did't like her, anyway. And then it all came down. Lyrics and music copyright 1995, 1996, 2003 Julian D. Rai (BMI), All Rights Reserved.

As You Are (In This Water #1) From "The Muse Tree (Demos)" Julean and the Rai (as Julian Rai) Copyright 2003 Julian D. Rai (BMI) VERSE I With the highway lights making shadows on your face I looked over at you, as you quickly turned away The silence was its own mistake. VERSE II We landed and we ate beside the car And then you stood by the waterside, egging me on I said "I don't have a suit", you said "Just go as you are... Go as you are... Just go as you are ..." You peeled down to your underwear and bra Dove into the water, and slipped the others off Love, our time was a passing one. Your mother's choice for college, no surprise Your confident demeanor, a disguise You've got a thousand expectations That are shaped like your life Shake like your life Shaped like your life... We were connecting every little star Then running naked, drying off Then shivering, back to the car I think I'd rather leave you As you are. We planned to get together later on I apologize, like I said I couldn't come And I've looked everywhere, but I don't see you around. Lyrics and music copyright 2003 Julian D. Rai (BMI), All Rights Reserved.

Tall #2 From "The Muse Tree (Demos)" Julean and the Rai (as Julian Rai) Copyright 2003 Julian D. Rai (BMI) VERSE I By seventeen he'd picked it up Everybody seemed to like his stuff Sang with fire, wrote of love They all said he'd be famous Then he had to get a 'real job' In a warehouse, South of town The extra cash was welcome So he laid his guitar down, and goes "You're bound for losing By the time you're old. Every old loser Tells me so. You're bound to stagnate Bound to fall... Bound to pause When we grow tall. VERSE II Matthew's words, like fireworks Everybody wanted to read his stuff Wrote until his fingers hurt We all knew he'd be famous But then traveled off to college Where he'd lay awake at night He had an appetite for knowledge But he knew something wasn't right, however "You're bound to shed this; You'll outgrow this -- Even my father Tells me so. You're bound to college, Bound to jobs, Bound to family When we grow tall." When we grow tall. BRIDGE You're bound for losing By the time you're old Every old loser Tells you so You're bound to family Bound to jobs Bound to stagnate When we grow tall. VERSE III Matthew dropped out And moved back home Wrote a couple plays And put 'em on Started up a novel That isn't quite done Published several Of his poems And guitar boy found a paying gig Running local open mics He says he's really in no hurry To try to struggle, reach Big Time He says "You've gotta' shake these Stubborn roles. Tell those old losers Where to go. Grow a pair Drop the ball; Or no point, when we grow Tall." When we grow Tall. Lyrics and music copyright 1999, 2003 Julian D. Rai (BMI), All Rights Reserved.

Fifth Street Song (Fifth Street Coffee Song #1) From "The Muse Tree (Demos)" Julean and the Rai (as Julian Rai) Copyright 2003 Julian D. Rai (BMI) (Well there was somthing about the shape of this town that kind of made it ... well ... vacuously 'home-y'. The streets littered with people I knew who had nothng to do. So I took to setting up in the old Historic Distric, as a busker, in the fall of a long year; I was trying to handle the "catastrophic discharge" of my life with as much grace, calm, and quiet -- in that I could possibly trust that some Overspirit was doing something, and I ... had no idea what it was up to.) VERSE I Well I'm sittin' on Fifth Street Got my case on the line Made about five bucks so far Saw as ex-roommate of mine She wants her deposit back -- That kinda' made me laugh ... I said "I thought you snorted that." "Now girl ... I was supposed to watch out for you, and Look at you now, with this Scumbag hanging off of you -- We're all stuck Even Ryn in Hawaii But if you want to talk deposits, I'll Just come by --" CHORUS "You know, I'm sorry. I didn't quite make it there, I didn't have the money To pay the fare Things are troubled They're changing, and they're strange I can't keep track of nothing these days ... Me and my 'irresponsible ways'." VERSE II You know I just got evicted The other day And I'm staying with a friend Of a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend And I'm leaving in October To tour the country Yet I'm still here in Dayton And I don't seem much to mind. CHORUS "You know, I'm sorry. I didn't quite make it there, I didn't have the money To pay the fare Things are troubled They're changing, and they're strange I couldn't care less, anyway ... Me and my 'irresponsible ways'." I can't keep track of nuthin' these days. I know I promised I tried the best I could Always been honest Well-meaning and good I just find trouble Just this side of the sane I can't keep track of nuthin' these days Me and my irresponsible -- VERSE III --You know the thing about Fifth Street? In the days it's a dive In the evenings it's where all the night life Comes alive And these college kids don't pay you But you know they'll ask you "Do you know this song, or that song -- Get a job," or "go home" -- CHORUS And when I leave Pack up my case Stack up the bills And count all the change I make-believe I'm going home. I can't keep track of nuthin' these days Me and my "irresponsible ways" ... Me and my "irresponsible ways" ... Lyrics and music copyright 1999, 2003 Julian D. Rai (BMI), All Rights Reserved.

God Bless Panama City #1 From "The Muse Tree (Demos)" Julean and the Rai (as Julian Rai) Copyright 2003 Julian D. Rai (BMI) VERSE I We took a trip to Florida With the promoter from a big concert. I suspect we were runnin' way -- (I hear that nobody got paid.) VERSE II We set up at St. Andrews -- Parked the Jeep and waterbikes With a tent as big as a living room These two weeks should be flying by soon. VERSE III And eventually, our campsite Swallowed the surrounding tents Packed with folks from all around -- Even Nina, from back home, came down. We were like the bedouins When everbody else moved in. PRECHORUS God Bless Panama City, yeah It's oceans wrapped around our tentsides It's sand floor crawling up our backsides VERSE IV Enter young Melissa: A fiesty Alabama girl -- Her tent just down the beach from me Honestly, at first, she bothered me. VERSE V Then one night she surprised me. Caught outside, by the fire pit I admit I was interested When she sent her little friend to bed VERSE VI And I swear I don't remember Just How we got from log to tent Or if I said in just as many words It so happened I was virginal... I was only seventeen She a year younger than me... PRECHORUS God Bless Panama City, yeah It's oceans wrapped around our tentsides It's sand floor crawling up our backsides CHORUS ...and it went something like this: "There's a rock under my back." "You got your elbow on my neck." "I'm sorry I bumped your head." "Did you or I come yet?" "Can we just lay here naked?" Could have sworn I was awake, yeah 'Till me morning had taken ya' And in the morning, I felt different. VERSE VII In the morn I could not find you Apparently, your parents came Drove you back the road towards home On the pillow, your address and phone VERSE VIII And when I returned to Dayton I think I called you once or twice But you had a boyfriend, he proposed And I figured that's just 'how it goes'. But I plan on travelin' And maybe I'll see you then. PRECHORUS God Bless Panama City, yeah It's oceans wrapped around our tentsides It's sand floor crawling up our backsides CHORUS ...and it went something like this: "There's a rock under my back." "You got your elbow on my neck." "I'm sorry I bumped your head." "Did you or I come yet?" "Can we just lay here naked?" Could have sworn I was awake, yeah 'Till me morning had taken ya' And in the morning, I felt different. God bless Panama City, yeah. God bless Panama City, yeah. God bless Panama City. God bless Panama City. (...and it went something like this:) God bless Panama City. ("There's a rock under my back.") ("You got your elbow on my neck.") God bless Panama City... ("I'm sorry I bumped your head.") ("Did you or I come yet?") God bless Panama City. ("Can we just lay here naked?") (Could have sworn I was awake, yeah) God bless Panama City. ('Till me morning had taken ya') (And in the morning, I felt different.) Oh, yeah... Lyrics and music copyright 1996, 2003 Julian D. Rai (BMI), All Rights Reserved.

The Sounds Outside (The Way That Leaving Goes #1) From "The Muse Tree (Demos)" Julean and the Rai (as Julian Rai) Copyright 2003 Julian D. Rai (BMI) VERSE I "Well, you can stay at my house," She said, "With no money now You can sleep in my little girl's bedroom, And she'll be fine, in my bed, for now. Slide 'round the kitchen, you can Eat all you want when you stay, and Here's a key to the doorway -- Try to keep it down, if you come in late." CHORUS I ("And of course if you wanted You can come 'round to my door...") I never caught the subtext -- Never caught on To what exactly I was paying for To what I was paying for Room and board Until I couldn't come back no more. VERSE II Got no food, and no money. Going down to the 'Grind... Score a cup of free coffee For the 142nd time, thinking How I plan to get liquid simply Performing live, and I'm realizing You can't make no money Running local open mics... CHORUS II And I never expected To be stramded on the streets here Trying to find a bedroom Making 60 bucks a week Gotta' find a place to sleep, easy. Hungrier still As evening comes Remembering who I borrowed from And the placed I've stayed And the friends I've lost All alone, with just Me, guitar, and thoughts God if I know How this works out Damned, if I go back Homeward now ... Gotta' get this all figured out... VERSE III Now I'm runnin' out of options Having gone down to the bone, Thinking about how I 'ain't been broke, or homeless Since I left my mothers home And here I am Slinking up the driveway Thinking "Lucky I got the key" But my Mama got there first And her smile surprised me. CHORUS III And outside the window My brother groaned As my mother said Something 'bout Nintendo And some upcoming test Looks like life has carried on here Just as if I'd never left. Though I'm just taking a rest... Maybe get the past year off my chest (Sorry to bother you; I really need the couch) Though I'm just taking a rest... Maybe get the past year off my chest (Sorry to bother you; I really need the couch) Just taking a rest... Gotta' get this last year off my chest. Lyrics and music copyright 1996, 2003 Julian D. Rai (BMI), All Rights Reserved.

Muse Tree #1 From "The Muse Tree (Demos)" Julean and the Rai (as Julian Rai) Copyright 2003 Julian D. Rai (BMI) You are only to be a tree On which the muses come to feed. VERSE I Awaking Forgetting Just where I was sleeping... Reach out to Move the curtain For daylight. VERSE II Arising And leaving Inside, I Am singing These muses made me And saved me. VERSE III Like water I'm spilling Yet, grateful I'm still here This year has Aged me Greatly. VERSE IV Same people No reason They come, and She's leavin'... Decide, Forget the answer... Forget her. VERSE V These friends are In passing Not sacred Not lasting... It's all detaching ... Preparing. VERSE VI For Dayton, Ohio Muse give me Asylum. Pieces and guidance. An exit. VERSE VII Politely Declining. Lyrics and music copyright 1999, 2003 Julian D. Rai (BMI), All Rights Reserved.